It has been a long time since I have written anything in this blog. put is down to busyness or distraction. I started one but the computer "froze" and I lost it, that was a couple of weeks ago. One of the guys who has come to live in community with us is really into words. He will sometimes ask what a word means, not a long complex word but a pretty everyday one. Always it makes me think, "yes what does it mean?"
Take the two words at the top for example. They mean the same thing don't they? Not when you start to think about it, they can be used to say the same thing but that is a different thing. Is not one of the beauties of language the fact that nuances exist. Silence is the absence of sound. To me it can carry the air of menace "what is there hiding from me waiting to burst in". Quietness is a state. A quiet man is not always silent but he is never loud.
Enough! What else has been going on? Well I have recognised more traits of the middle aged in my personality. When you regularly talk about the old days and berate the young it means that you are into the world of Victor Meldrew (who?), in other words in danger of becoming a miserable old git. What stops me going going too far down that road is the fact that I have no desire to become old. Maturity has it's pluses, for example for some reason I can get up in the mornings now when I want to. (That laying in bed thing that young people do isn't laziness you know, they are actually incapable of fighting their way out from under the covers). When I became able to get out of bed in the morning, when I ceased to be the object of critical "vibes" from those who had been impatiently waiting for me, I thought it was a miracle; it certainly took the heat off me. The under 40's have this to look forward to (I was about 40 when it happened). It isn't all bad.
Saturday, 16 July 2011
Saturday, 2 July 2011
God's foot in the door.
Having tried unsuccessfully to publish a blog the other day I thought I would try again. It has been quite a few weeks since I have published anything. the other morning I was waiting to go to work whilst my passenger was praying with someone. Ever impatient to get on the move I was thinking "come on, come on" when I sensed that there was a restraint upon me. God "had his foot in the door" and I needed to wait patiently until he was ready for me to close it and get on with my day. That image has stayed with me most of the week, after all how important is what I have got to do compared with God's business?
A couple of nights ago I could not sleep so I came downstairs about 1am and had something to eat. I then came into the room where I am now and had a look on the bookshelves. Then I went back to bed without selecting a book. What are books for anyway? Because we are a Christian house a lot of the books are faith based, or biographies of people who did great things for God. I love reading but in the big picture aren't books simply a waste of time? People blame television for the breakdown of society but aren't books just a more primitive form of the same thing? A way of keeping us apart. At least you can have more than one person watching the same T.V. programme! Of the making of many books there is no end. isn't it by living that we learn? I am not advocating the abolition of books but I reckon there could be a few too many.
A couple of nights ago I could not sleep so I came downstairs about 1am and had something to eat. I then came into the room where I am now and had a look on the bookshelves. Then I went back to bed without selecting a book. What are books for anyway? Because we are a Christian house a lot of the books are faith based, or biographies of people who did great things for God. I love reading but in the big picture aren't books simply a waste of time? People blame television for the breakdown of society but aren't books just a more primitive form of the same thing? A way of keeping us apart. At least you can have more than one person watching the same T.V. programme! Of the making of many books there is no end. isn't it by living that we learn? I am not advocating the abolition of books but I reckon there could be a few too many.
Thursday, 9 June 2011
The in - between place
This morning on the way to work I was pondering on the Bryn Haworth song "What kind of love is this?".
What kind of love is this? That gave itself for me
I am the guilty one yet I go free
What kind of love is this, a love I'd never known
I didn't even know his name, what kind of love is this?"
Words like "guilty" caused me to start thinking about sin. What is sin? An action that affects others or ourselves or God in a negative way. Falling short of the standard. Falling short of the standard evokes the sense of being in the wrong place, failing, not reaching the mark. Just imagine then that there are two shaded areas on a piece of paper, one shaded say red for sin, one gold for righteousness. The areas are adjacent. Now lets consider the part that divides the two: Is it a gradual fade from one colour to the next, is it a line, or is it an area of blankness? I think the fundamentalists would say "It's a line, you are either in one thing or the other". The liberals would say "well it's a fade in, a bit of one colour and a bit of the next". I don't know who would opt for a blank space - moderates maybe. In the book of Revelation it talks about the lukewarm ones, neither cold or hot. Did they, do they inhabit the space in between, being neither sinful nor righteous, playing safe and yet being spewed out of God's mouth?
This is what I think, it may be heretical but it's honest. The two shaded areas and the space exist within all of our lives. I believe that those whom have taken advantage of the free gift of God through Jesus Christ have been gifted, not with the anihilation of the sinful area but the ability to choose not to inhabit it, but rather to live in the Golden area of righteousness. I guess that involves a bit of training of our will. We live in the space between when because of ambivalence or passivity we do not settle for either of the other two. It's an expanse of nothingness. The more we inhabit it the bigger it becomes until disenterested and unmotivated it sucks us fully in and we become nothing. Is that Hell?
What kind of love is this? That gave itself for me
I am the guilty one yet I go free
What kind of love is this, a love I'd never known
I didn't even know his name, what kind of love is this?"
Words like "guilty" caused me to start thinking about sin. What is sin? An action that affects others or ourselves or God in a negative way. Falling short of the standard. Falling short of the standard evokes the sense of being in the wrong place, failing, not reaching the mark. Just imagine then that there are two shaded areas on a piece of paper, one shaded say red for sin, one gold for righteousness. The areas are adjacent. Now lets consider the part that divides the two: Is it a gradual fade from one colour to the next, is it a line, or is it an area of blankness? I think the fundamentalists would say "It's a line, you are either in one thing or the other". The liberals would say "well it's a fade in, a bit of one colour and a bit of the next". I don't know who would opt for a blank space - moderates maybe. In the book of Revelation it talks about the lukewarm ones, neither cold or hot. Did they, do they inhabit the space in between, being neither sinful nor righteous, playing safe and yet being spewed out of God's mouth?
This is what I think, it may be heretical but it's honest. The two shaded areas and the space exist within all of our lives. I believe that those whom have taken advantage of the free gift of God through Jesus Christ have been gifted, not with the anihilation of the sinful area but the ability to choose not to inhabit it, but rather to live in the Golden area of righteousness. I guess that involves a bit of training of our will. We live in the space between when because of ambivalence or passivity we do not settle for either of the other two. It's an expanse of nothingness. The more we inhabit it the bigger it becomes until disenterested and unmotivated it sucks us fully in and we become nothing. Is that Hell?
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Curve balls
I think this is a baseball expression for a ball that deceives you and get you out, rather like the inswinging yorker in cricket. It has been a week of such deliveries. Hearing that my mother had fallen down and broken her leg last Wednesday was a case in point. I guess it didn't get us "out" but it was pretty testing. Us humans have a great ability to compartmentalise, I was on a course during the day and was able to focus well. As soon as it was over I became emotional. Mum is 88 not out at present and I at least was looking for something approaching a century. Actually she sailed through the operation, is walking again and could be out of hospital by Friday. All the more minor things that have happened since then have not resulted in disaster either. Praise God.
Thursday, 12 May 2011
Keeping it simple
I am tidying up around my desk today. I have worked in office environments most of my working life. Here are a few tips I would like to pass on.
1. Don't hang on to stuff you dont need; don't accumulate more. The thought that something may come in useful sometimes stops me throwing it away. I will now open one of my desk drawers and share the contents with you:
Sony 5V A.C. adaptor (don't know what it is for). Pair of gardening gloves. Small jar of tiger balm. Pack of blu tac. 3 musical cigarette lighters. 23 AA batteries. 3 AAA Batteries. 38mm (obsolete) table tennis ball. Halogen light bulb (bayonet fitting). Elastic wrist support. Several red biros. Assorted sticky labels (3 kinds) Small note book. Jotting pad. Several miscellaneous keys.Tube of all purpose adhesive. Several plastic coin bags. Ruler. Box of staples. Bike cable lock with no key. Various screws and bolts.2 packs from training I have been on.Jesus army red cross. Coventry benefits advice line coaster.Some post - it notes. 2 pieces of string. This is only a small drawer! I will be sorting it out, promise.
2. Don't worry about throwing stuff away (I really do this, honest). many years ago I worked in a job where the person before me had allowed a lot of queries to build up. After a few months I threw the whole lot away. I never had any come back. The important stuff was simply chased again.
3. Don't keep a master copy folder of forms. Print them from the computer as you need them, you will invariably do this anyway and then have a load of forms gathering dust.
4. Keep desk space as clear as you can.
If you think my drawer contents are a bit weird, try looking in yours!
1. Don't hang on to stuff you dont need; don't accumulate more. The thought that something may come in useful sometimes stops me throwing it away. I will now open one of my desk drawers and share the contents with you:
Sony 5V A.C. adaptor (don't know what it is for). Pair of gardening gloves. Small jar of tiger balm. Pack of blu tac. 3 musical cigarette lighters. 23 AA batteries. 3 AAA Batteries. 38mm (obsolete) table tennis ball. Halogen light bulb (bayonet fitting). Elastic wrist support. Several red biros. Assorted sticky labels (3 kinds) Small note book. Jotting pad. Several miscellaneous keys.Tube of all purpose adhesive. Several plastic coin bags. Ruler. Box of staples. Bike cable lock with no key. Various screws and bolts.2 packs from training I have been on.Jesus army red cross. Coventry benefits advice line coaster.Some post - it notes. 2 pieces of string. This is only a small drawer! I will be sorting it out, promise.
2. Don't worry about throwing stuff away (I really do this, honest). many years ago I worked in a job where the person before me had allowed a lot of queries to build up. After a few months I threw the whole lot away. I never had any come back. The important stuff was simply chased again.
3. Don't keep a master copy folder of forms. Print them from the computer as you need them, you will invariably do this anyway and then have a load of forms gathering dust.
4. Keep desk space as clear as you can.
If you think my drawer contents are a bit weird, try looking in yours!
Monday, 9 May 2011
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Nothing to do with the David Bowie song although the stutter (maybe inspired by the Who's "My Generation") is typical of the way changes happens, not smoothly but with several false starts. Change does not come with synchro - mesh. (You won't know what that is if you are under about 50). Anyway where was I?
At the moment my catch phrase is "It's the end of the world as we know it". Laurence and his merry men are arriving to live at the Anchorage seriously lowering the average age. Added to that it looks like a building for our Jesus Centre will be purchased imminently. Double Whammy.
How do I feel about that? Ok really. I am looking forward to it. Will I have learned to be content in whatever state I find myself? We'll see.
At the moment my catch phrase is "It's the end of the world as we know it". Laurence and his merry men are arriving to live at the Anchorage seriously lowering the average age. Added to that it looks like a building for our Jesus Centre will be purchased imminently. Double Whammy.
How do I feel about that? Ok really. I am looking forward to it. Will I have learned to be content in whatever state I find myself? We'll see.
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
Falling in Love
Speaking to someone who is going through this experience is interesting. The sense of euphoria that they feel tends to mean that you can say things to them which in the normal run of things would cause a strong reaction and they will just receive it with a smile. Trying to get them to slow down is a different matter. "I have got to have this person now" is their vibe. I have heard it said that falling in love is akin to a mental illness. Does it have any value? Apart from being the subject of millions of songs thus providing an important source of income to many people, that is?
Speaking for myself I think that is a worthwhile experience and often a great feeling but I think that being in love with a person and loving them are two different things. Being in love is about the person experiencing it, loving someone is about them, the two may not be mutually compatible. being "in love" can be about possession, love is much more about what is best for the other person. I remember when I realised that in my own case, when my wishes for the other person's wellbeing and happiness conquered my desire to possess them, the realisation that maybe I was not essential to her happiness, in fact that I could be a hindrance. At that point I released her and gave her permission to end the relationship at any time. What would have happened if I hadn't said that I don't know; as it is we got married.
Falling in love is human, I don't think there is anything wrong with that and even if I did it would not stop it happening. Love is of God. To make the transition from the one to the other was with me nothing short of a miracle.
So I'm not knocking falling in love, it's got some good bits like romance, can stick around for ever. It is not recommended to use heavy machinery whilst it is happening though.
Speaking for myself I think that is a worthwhile experience and often a great feeling but I think that being in love with a person and loving them are two different things. Being in love is about the person experiencing it, loving someone is about them, the two may not be mutually compatible. being "in love" can be about possession, love is much more about what is best for the other person. I remember when I realised that in my own case, when my wishes for the other person's wellbeing and happiness conquered my desire to possess them, the realisation that maybe I was not essential to her happiness, in fact that I could be a hindrance. At that point I released her and gave her permission to end the relationship at any time. What would have happened if I hadn't said that I don't know; as it is we got married.
Falling in love is human, I don't think there is anything wrong with that and even if I did it would not stop it happening. Love is of God. To make the transition from the one to the other was with me nothing short of a miracle.
So I'm not knocking falling in love, it's got some good bits like romance, can stick around for ever. It is not recommended to use heavy machinery whilst it is happening though.
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