As a practising christian it never ceases to amaze me how much more there is to discover, not through reserarch or exploration but through the illumination that God brings. Life in general (I mean a persons interaction with the rest of humanity) tends to be fairly limited, we have our own circle and can be suspicious of those who are not like us. In the Church, which is God's social circle if you like, he brings in people from every possible background and social grouping to be a demonstration of his unbiased approach to himanity which can be summed up in the following three words "God so loved".
I struggle sometimes and I know that many do with coping with others who's experience of God's life - changing power does not seem to have irradicated their annoying traits, weaknesses, personality failings and even sinful habits. I ask myself the question "is this person truly born again of the spirit?"( I even wonder that about myself when I seem to recognise a strong bias towards selfishness and sin). Because of attitudes like mine the Church is in danger of replicating the societies and groupings of the world which tend to split up, fall out, go broke or at the best hold themselves together through a controlling hand at the top. That is not to say there is not goodness, self sacrificing, achievement and fulfillment in thaose societies and groupings, it's just that they are human, the Church is part of God's kingdom and should (in theory) have a more secure hope.
The secret as I see it to moving away from the worm - like towards soaring like eagles is to have the love that God has which cannot be gained through education, exploration, personal effort and certainly cannot be brought. Lately I have been remembering often those words of my friend Paul Martin on the occasion of the Holy Spirit coming to a group of us whilst on holiday. Against the backdrop of his former attitude to me which was one of forbearance (not always patient). He said simply (their was nothing weird or sinister about this) "I love you". We never spoke about it again and he has now died so I can't ask him but I reckon that when he saw that God had chosen to love me and it was manifest then he was able to change his attitude towards me. My ability to love as God loves is so paramount to my own wellbeing that to be baptised in that love over and over again has to be my goal, without it I am poor, pitiable, blind and naked.
