One of the difficult areas of my life is the amount of control I have over others. The whole area of responsibility is a major issue. If I take responsibility for another person it can mean that they cease to take responsibility for themselves, then when I try to return responsibility to them they can blame me for the situation they are in, wheras if I took no responsibility in the first place I would have had no problem apart from maybe a failure to show any compassion.
People I care about make choices which affect others whom I also care about. Although in an ideal world one should not be judgemental I find myself making judgement calls and choices which mean that nobody wins and one or more people ends up hating me, or feeling that I hate them, because I have taken responsibility.
I guess that it is better to attempt to love and care and be disappointed than to be hard and callous.
"One of the difficult areas of my life is the amount of control I have over others."
ReplyDeleteSorry Barney, in fact you have absolutely NO control over others! Nor does anyone else. Influence, maybe, but ultimately adults' choices and behaviour are their own. Though having said that, I also think that 90% of what we do, feel, how we respond, etc. is predictable from our experiences, good and bad, in childhood, (plus, of course, the interaction with the influence of our genes)so to that extent there could be an argument to say that none of is responsible for our behaviour . . . !